The main difference between a Dom (male-identifying) or Domme (female-identifying) and a top is that neither will follow instructions given by someone else. In some circumstances, a person may be a “service top,” which is someone who enjoys taking control of their partner primarily as an essentially submissive way of pleasing them or because they’ve been instructed to do so. Within the context of BDSM, “top” is a catchall phrase for the dominant partner, the one doing the tying, taking charge, giving orders etc. Now, let’s move on to the types of Dominants and submissives you find in the BDSM lifestyle. All of this is supposed to be fun! That’s why people in the BDSM community refer to what they do as play. If the Dominant screws up and loses trust just once, it’s likely to be over. Dom(me)s generally may feel, the sub really holds the power. In the vast majority of cases, submission is considered something that must be earned, generally through his or her Dominant’s respect, honesty, and character.
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